When Someone Looks...It Doesn't Mean That They See You

It's all happening again...I have felt this feeling before. You're excited yet nervous....happy yet worried...

As I entered the classroom...I already felt different. I didn't know anyone in the room. They looked at me and yet they didn't see me. I walked inside the class and sat at the back. I was really intimidated to ask anyone in the room. I opened my laptop and just did anything just to kill time until the professor arrived. And then the door opened, and a guy familiar to me entered the room. He was my classmate before but I couldn't remember his name. I saw light in just a few seconds because at least I know somebody now. But when I was just about to say "hi" to him...again...he looked at me and yet he didn't see me. He sat in front of the class and talked to other students. "Maybe he didn't really see me..." I told my self. At that time...I asked myself why did I take that course...

The professor arrived 5 minutes late. She gave us the syllabus and as I checked it...a lot of topic were not familiar to me and some I already forgot. I knew this professor. She was my professor in some other previous courses. I knew her personality...she was just going to read the syllabus and then...out we go... but today was different. We were given a chance to choose a topic and be a facilitator of it. I first chose 6th topic among the 9 topics that was given...and said it a lot of times to the professor but she couldn't hear me...instead she approved another student with that topic...so I have no choice but to choose 1 or 3...I didn't want to be the first one to facilitate...so I chose 3...the professor and other students was really surprised with my choice...my professor thought it was a good topic and the students said it's a very difficult topic...and I didn't have any idea about it...then I realized...I really didn't know what I was choosing and why was I really in that class

...but I have no choice now... I already paid 7.8 thousand pesos and there is no turning back. I started it and I have to finish it. I just hope that I could take all the pressure, the stress, all criticisms, and all the intimidations...starting that day...my life have already changed...it would not be a life of just pure work and relaxation but there would be an additional challenges not only with my studies but with my confidence too...